When I moved to Dallas in 2000, I was mightily disappointed with what the radio dial offered up. Crap, crap, crap, leavened only occasionally with lesser crap. The only station that seemed bearable was Merge Radio 93.3, which played the usual radio-ready adult-alternative dreck (yeah, Creed, I’m looking at you), but mixed in some older stuff (early R.E.M., Replacements) often enough to make it work on those occasions that public radio becomes too dull for words.
So yesterday, during a Krys Villasenor snorefest asking listeners to call in with their favorite local community theater troupes (zzzzz), I flipped over to 93.3. And I heard Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” perhaps the most mawkishly mockable power ballad of the 1980s. I thought: “Heh — I guess some DJ has a sense of humor.” But then came an AC/DC song. Then “Purple Haze.” I started to get the idea something serious was going wrong here.
Then came the station promo: I realized I was no longer listening to “Merge Radio.” I was listening to “The New 93.3, The Bone.” The Bone. I doubt they’re trying to target the paleontologist niche market; I’m sure the bone in question is more pants-based. Every third word out of the DJ’s mouth was “bone” — “Coming soon, the Bone-a-thon! We’ll rock you to the bone! No bones about it! Tell your friends, so you don’t bone alone!” The web site prominently features the “Bone Babes.” (Their official tagline, seemingly designed for the slow learners in the audience, is “rock that rocks.”)
I haven’t checked lately, but was there a shortage of Aerosmith on the radio dial? Were there people sitting in traffic, fondling their gun racks, saying, “Man, I sure could use a little Whitesnake right about now, but damn it, there are no radio stations that will cater to my interests! If only there were a 17th classic rock station in the market!” Don’t get me wrong: I hold no grudge against Robert Plant. But come on, help me out here: any of you DFW types know of a good station I’m missing?
12 thoughts on “93.3 the bone”
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I don’t think there are any good stations, but there are a couple mediocre – the edge is the same as merge was, and 89.3 plays blues/rockabilly/Indian/you-name-it…
I’m so disappointed that the Merge went away. I admired the way the Merge tried to work the web and radio together, talking about cool sites on the station, and using their website to back up the radio presence.
The Bone is nothing special at all. Matt and I were eating at Texadelphia the other night and they had the Bone on. The playlist was Guns N’ Roses, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, and the Rolling Stones. The most predictable rock songs ever.
And what is up with all the half-naked chicks all over their site? I guess they figure that no woman might actually listen and check out the site. “Hey! Are you a MAN? Do you like BOOBS? Do you like ROCK? Then The Bone is for you.”
How funny. Krys used to work here at Yahoo! and left for that gig.
Anyway, I admired the Merge trying to break in a “tweener” market. Tough to do, as evidenced by lack of advertiser support.
That’s what I don’t get — how can DFW be a tweener market? Five million people! I know we’re the #7 market for TV, and I’d imagine that with all the commuting time we’d be higher, if anything, in radio.
Welcome to Texas. Yes, the radio stations here suck, especially in North Texas, but the fact that you miss the Merge is what has me wondering. I get in the mood for some good mechanic music sometimes, which the Bone offers, but its campaign of tits-and-testosterone is a little much. But again, welcome to Texas.
I don’t know if “miss” is the right word — I’d prefer it to unending boniness. It served its purpose — as something to fill up the time when I didn’t have any CDs with me and the Car Talk guys were getting a little too insufferable.
I’m reminded of comaeroticism Tom’s stories of the web porn industry. One company with a cache of stills from VHS movies would make 20 different “store fronts” into the same content. People didn’t notice they were the same and paid for multiple subscriptions.
It’s the same thing here. One (okay maybe two in this case) company owns all the radio stations. They put different store fronts up. People “pay” (read that give arbitron ratings points) each station.
Man I can’t believe people ragged on web advertising. It was based on the same house of cards magazine/newspaper/tv/radio audience ratings are based on. Although I guess it was more precise in measuring audience. I bet if those other media could measure their audience with the same precision then the same economic crisis would precipitate.
Josh, thanks for bringing this up. I, too, am disappointed Merge went away. I don’t think just because I live in “Texas” I should have to put up with crap radio. So the past week I’ve been digging up old CD’s. It’s definitely better than Creed or Bon Jovi.
Though I’m beginning to think we should start our own radio station.
The radio stations, like everything else in Dallas, suck.
I’ve lived in Dallas all my life and while I disagree with Charles that all things in Dallas suck (I’ve had several girlfriends born and raised here that didn’t) I do agree that the radio here sucks to an extent that borders on amazing. When The Merge went off the air, I thought it was some kind of joke, or a publicity stunt. “No way they’re replacing the Merge with yet another crap ass classic rock station”. Much to my chagrin, it is true.
XM radio, here I come. I’ve had it. Radio here is pathetic. It is astonishing how absurd it is. I passed through Oklahoma, on my way to a business trip in Kanas City, and I found three rock stations that blew away anything we have here. IN OKLAHOMA! How sad.
Here it is all about ratings. No station owner is content with a powerful presence in a certain market, let alone a niche market. It’s like every station is attempting to get the most listeners, with no concern whatsoever for quality of it’s programming. Just play the most popular stuff, with nothing challenging that may cause someone to turn the dial. If alternative stations like The Edge think they are in any way different than kiddie bop stations like Kiss FM, they are mistaken. They have just a slightly hipper spin of the same-ole, same-ole.
Lastly, I can be as crude as the next guy, and dose of Howard Stern here and there is a good thing, but the state of radio talk in Dallas is stupid. Almost no curse word is unspeakable now. Topless women in the studio, dancing, while the jocks and guests drink beer? Welcome to Friday MORNINGS at the Eagle. Friday MORNING! Hammerin’ back the brewski’s at 8:30 am while dancers strip and all manner of sexual talk, and language is used. What the hell?! The Merge at least had a little humor and fun without having sex with barnyard animals in the studio.
At any rate, I”ve got an appointment in two hours to have the stereo in my truck upgraded for XM radio. I thought $300 – $400 was a bit much at first – but now it seems cheap. Like bribing a judge to get out of a musical death sentence, it’s peanuts compared to the alternative.
Good riddance Dallas radio, it’s NOT been fun,
Sean
Count me in please.
So quiet lately. Any more comment please.