more m&m evil

More news from the M&M Evil Empire front. First, my friend Kim points out that calling purple a “new” M&M color is little more than a cheap fraud. From 1941 to 1949, a bag of M&Ms featured red, yellow, green, brown, orange, and violet. Violet! A color known by many as nothing more than purple! The M&M-endorsed attempt at global confusion, already powerful via the purple-pink confusion, is reaching critical strength. Are these new “purple” M&Ms really just old violet M&Ms from V-J Day, kept in storage for lo these many decades? Have they abandoned use of the word “violet” because it’s too eerily close to “violent,” and thus might tip the public off to the M&M plans for global domination?
Secondly, that same bit of M&M propaganda pretends to tell the story of the many color-changes M&M has put its customers through over the years: the 1949 violet-to-tan switch, the 1995 blue-to-tan, etc. But it makes no mention of the most celebrated change in the brand’s color composition, the 1976 removal of red M&Ms because of fears they might cause cancer. No mention of the century’s greatest candy-based health crisis! It’s like Stalin erasing his political enemies from Politburo photos after he had them “neutralized.”
It is my earnest hope that the good, noble people of America may rise up and combat this attempt at revisionist history. Just because it melts in your mouth and not in your hands doesn’t mean that it’s not worth fighting.