fantasy football update

Fantasy football update: I am proud to say my squad, the Bum Phillippi, has finished the regular season alone in first place, with a record of 11-3.
Week 14 was a dramatic one, with everything coming down to Tony Gonzalez’s performance on Monday night football. I needed Tony to have no more than 82 yards receiving and no touchdowns. His stat line: 76 yards receiving, no touchdowns. Hence, a hairline victory for the B.P. over the Diogenes Club, 97.40 to 96.70. Apparently Tony Gonzalez wasn’t the honest man Diogenes was looking for.
Now come the four-team playoffs. The semifinals pit me against Ignignokt and Err, the league’s only Aqua Teen Hunger Force-inspired squad. So you know who you have to root against, I&E relies on Brett Favre at QB, Eric Moulds, Chris Chambers, and Javon Walker at wideout, Chester Taylor, Fred Taylor and Warrick Dunn at RB, and lonely kicker David Akers. May they all be temporarily and painlessly crippled by plantar fasciitis.
As for me, I’m still starting McNabb at QB, Tomlinson, Pittman, and Rudi Johnson at RB, Vinatieri kicking, and reliable Isaac Bruce at WR. The rest of my starters are in flux, thanks to subpar production at wide receiver. Roy Williams has teased me with potential long enough. To the bench! Keenan McCardell can’t get up for a rivalry game against his former team? To the bench!
Taking their places: Laveranues Coles, hopefully recovered from a season-long slump and now in rhythm with Patrick Ramsey, and Lee Evans, the rookie phenom from Wisconsin who’s been putting up big numbers the last three weeks.