Went to the local used-book megaplex a week ago and found a copy of Vagabonding in Europe and North Africa, a 1971 travel book by a man named Ed Buryn. (The book should not be confused with Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel, the very fine book by Friend of Crabwalk Rolf Potts.) Ed Buryn seems like a fairly strange fellow; at least judging by Google hits (a paltry 568), he has been largely forgotten. But his book — a hippie-fied guide to a groovy continental tour — has some gems. For instance:
- Under the heading “Availability of Dope”: “In Poland I met a soldier and his girl in a bar one night and got to talking (in rudimentary words and sign language) about grass, which they’d never heard of before. He said he’d like to try it sometime. By an odd coincidence, about then I happened to find a few joints in my stash. So we retired to his girl’s house, whose father (an army sergeant) was already asleep.
“To make a long story short, she wouldn’t try it, but he and I got ripped. Soon he got sick from too much vodka beforehand and started to moan. His girl immediately freaked out and woke her father, who drowsily listened to her tattling about how I’d messed her cat with my ‘funny cigarettes.’
“I could only speak a few words of the language to try to quiet her down, keep the sergeant from calling the cops and reassure the soldier he was not going crazy — all while I was totally stoned. The sergeant finally concluded we were all pie-eyed drunk (he had never heard of grass either), shrugged his daughter off and went to bed. Be careful who you stone!”
(Buryn tells this story as an example of why Eastern Europeans “frequently haven’t even heard of [drugs]…if they have, they tend to put them down as capitalist decadence.”) - Buryn on why traveling women should always bring enough birth-control pills to last the trip: “If you’re absolutely certain you’ll remain chaste no matter what happens, then you’re too uptight. Life is strange…anything can happen, even the best of things. Be tolerant enough to allow them to happen.”
The “Sex and Romance” is divided up into two parts: “Part I: Sex, or How to Get Laid” and “Part II: Romance, or How to Find Love.” You will not be surprised to find that Part I is aimed at men and Part II is aimed at women. (Sexual revolution, schmexual revolution!)
To sum up his advice to men: You’ll have a hard time scoring with Euro women because American men are “coarse, neurotic, materialistic and superficial” in the Euro stereotype. Which is a shame because Euro women “are more likely to be sexually liberated,” “will go to bed sooner and enjoy it more,” and “are confident of their femininity and sexuality, sophisticated and sensitive.” Best option, according to Buryn: Go after American chicks, who are easy when they’re on the road. “Like you, they are eager to spice their European adventure with the salt of sex, and the resultant action is heavy.” (Italics his.)
His advice for women: You can snag a man with no problem, but you may need to buy him dinner. “European lovers are traditionally impoverished, and need their meals and expenses paid to keep up their strength. There is a large informal army of gigolos stationed throughout Europe, looking for American women to service, usually in hopes of making a little spare change as well.” But that’s not a bad thing, Buryn says! “Part of the excitement of travel and vagabonding is unquestionably a sexual excitement, so don’t try to repress it out of existence. As a free person in Europe, you will know the heady sensation of being stared at, appreciated, desired. Dig it.”
But Buryn argues that American women shouldn’t become so focused on their “dark-eyed Lotharios” that they ignore their horny American male counterparts. “These are the cream of our society, so don’t short-change our own out of mere cultural prejudice. Love an American; they’re clean.”
Ed Buryn is apparently still around, and has been noted for his tarot-card creations.
