So I can’t read a calendar (see below). Is that a reason to vilify me? To attack my family, my good name, my heritage? To call me names like “silly nincompoop,” “cretinous ninny,” or “softheaded simpleton”? If you prick me, do I not bleed? I just (sniffle) don’t know (sob) if I can take (whimper) this abuse (howl) much longer.
Anyway. My photos are back from Japan. Horrible, every last one. All my attempts at “creative” shots for the paper are out of focus. I hope the photo desk can work some magic on them. (And if someone wants to buy me a scanner, perhaps you’ll see some of the horror yourselves in a very special episode of crabwalk.com.)
Still time to lay claim to some free CDs. I plan on bringing whatever’s unclaimed to the happy hour (whatever day it is), so get yer orders in now.
Advice columnist breaks up with husband: couple announces split in chat room. And it somehow all ends up with the happy, charming smugness of, well, a couple who shouldn’t be splitting up.