Columns I have no desire to read in my local newspaper:
I realize many of you get mouth ulcers, but after a little studying on my part, I learned that only a lucky chosen few get them regularly, and sometimes, in droves. I’m one of the lucky ones, and ohhhh, I get them everywhere. I get them on my lip, behind my lip, in that little spot where your top lip meets your bottom lip, on my gums, inside my gums, on my tongue, under my tongue, on the roof of my mouth and yes, oh yes, even inside my throat on occasion.
Ugh, gross. Well, at least he wasn’t writing about the nuisance of his genital warts or something else ulcerated in his nether regions. I have no doubt a columnist has crossed that line at one point.