Author: jbenton

Something you must know about me, according to Kevin Smokler: “It’s worth knowing that Mr. Crabwalk (aka Josh Benton) is the world’s greatest kickball player. You WANT to be on his team.”
(This is, of course, in reference to the annual kickball game at the start of SXSW.)
Proof of Kevin’s claim can be found in this rare photo, showing me sacrificing my body to avoid Jason‘s attempted tag and score a key run. Notice Brad (correctly) calling me safe.

Polly wants an OED.
Woman in pink lingerie bolts from tomb, whips judge’s car.
Diamonds in the rough.
Where to get pancakes in Pyongyang. Why Zagat hasn’t jumped on this market yet is beyond me.
Spain needs better porn.
One gets the impression that Henry Earl enjoys the occasional alcoholic beverage. (Check that criminal history. Click around through all the photos, too.)

I know what you’re all thinking. “Josh,” you’re thinking, “when will I get to see you this year and thus make my 2004 complete?”
To assist your life planning, I present a sketchy plan of my travels for the upcoming year:
– March 12-16: SXSW in Austin.
– March 27: Wedding in Austin.
– April 15-17: Education Writers Association meeting in San Francisco.
– Sometime this spring: Seattle.
– Sometime this spring/early summer: The crabwalk.com Northern Tier Listening Tour 2004. Like its 2002 precursor (Boston/Cooperstown/Rochester/Toronto/Toledo), the tour will feature me driving a rental car across America’s northeast and visiting you, The Reader. Almost certain to be stops: New York, New Haven, Pittsburgh, Toledo. Could very well be stops, depending on timing etc.: Boston, Toronto, D.C., Illadelphia, Chicago.
– June 27: Half-marathon in Vancouver.
– Summer: Four weeks in Argentina or Mexico.
– August: Congres Mondial Acadien in Nova Scotia.
– Fall: A stretch in Mexico.
Along with the usual assortment of stints in south Louisiana and random work-related travels around Texas. Plan your lives accordingly.

Sorry for the radio silence. Kelly came to town for a visit Friday, and I’ve spent the last two days in San Antonio for a conference. But I’m back in Dallas and ready to rock you to your very core with bloggish goodness.

Praise be! The snobbery of the left is no more appealing than the snobbery of the right. Spilling haterade on Ikea, Starbucks, Wal-Mart, and McDonald’s isn’t going to make your life any better. (And those McGriddles are good!)

I’ll be doing my first TV appearance in a looooong time this afternoon, around 5:30 on TXCN. I’ll be talking about Gov. Perry’s education funding proposals.

Best crabwalk.com-related email I’ve gotten in a long while:
This may sound like a very strange request but I was wondering if you could settle a bet for me? I was wondering if you could tell me whether the weasel in the picture on your website is holding a pencil just out of shot? Strange request I know but me and a few friends got talking about it and a stupid bet was made which we need sorted.
For the record, no.

More proof of continued employment: Here’s my story from today’s front page. Those uninterested in the equity minutiae of incentivizing public school finance via achievement levels are advised to move along sans click. (Actually, I only wrote the second half of it, roughly.)
By the way, I should point out that all that “anastasia myskina naked” talk a few posts back has paid off — Google has been sending me about 150 extra visitors every day, most of them searching for some combination of those words. Welcome, pornhounds!

Strange dream last night. An old high school buddy of mine sat me down to tell me some bad news: This girl I had a huge crush on all throughout my teenage years — and whom I haven’t seen in a decade — was dying. Dying of a rare combination of Asperger’s syndrome and Dutch elm disease.
I hope her root structure is still strong.

Josh Marshall has a good, interesting piece in this week’s New Yorker about literary visions of empire, and whether modern-day America fits the definition.
It’s funny to see the same writer’s style shoehorned into different venues. On his blog, Marshall has a loose style, albeit with the sort of logical argument flow you’d expect from someone with an opinion journal background. His stuff for the Washington Monthly follows along the same lines. But this New Yorker piece has that straightjacket feel that all New Yorker pieces have. You can almost imagine him hovering over each word, wondering: “Is that too conversational? Does that phrase sound too much like something a human being might actually say? Can I stuff another clause to this sentence?”
Not that there’s anything wrong with the New Yorker house style — David Remnick, if you’re reading this, I’m available!
Speaking of Washington Monthly, a funny piece about being Bill Clinton’s head joke writer.