Category: Uncategorized

“Personality test: When you hear “Singing in the Rain,” do you envision Gene Kelly or Malcolm McDowell? If you picture Gene Kelly, don’t date someone who envisions Malcolm McDowell. Good sex, but it’ll never work out, so start every relationship with this question.”

It’s about damned time! Death to Delaware!

Two of my cultural heroes complain about their vegetarianism at the same time!
First, Ira Glass, host of This American Life, in dialogue with a reporter: “The food was vegetarian, but the couch was leather.”
Reporter: “You’re a vegetarian?”
Glass: “Yeah, and I hate it.”
Second, Travis Morrison, lead singer of The Dismemberment Plan, on a recent tour in Spain: “Any pretense of vegetarianism went out the window when I was confronted with a Serrano ham sandwich, and for six weeks, I was a crazy omnivore. I mean, you

Here’s a nice piece in Seattle alt-weekly The Stranger on The Long Winters, a very pleasant band from Seattle. The piece is fine, in the usual too-long alt-weekly way (don’t those people have editors?), but the real kicker comes on the third page of the story. That’s where the paper, in the spirit of full disclosure, details all the ways the paper and the band are intertwined. Some highlights:
Not noted in Jeff DeRoche’s fine feature on the Long Winters are the numerous CONFLICTS OF INTEREST that may have colored the writing and editing process. Indeed, the very selection of the Long Winters for a feature article in The Stranger smacks of favoritism. To facilitate the drafting of outraged letters to the editor, I have been asked to identify each instance of COI.
Mr. DeRoche’s article is about one JOHN RODERICK, lead singer/guitarist/songwriter for the Long Winters. Mr. Roderick has, in the past, been an occasional contributor to this paper. The Stranger’s film editor, SEAN NELSON, is also a member of the Long Winters, and Mr. Nelson was once the lead singer for the band HARVEY DANGER, which featured EVAN SULT on drums. Mr. Sult, like Mr. Roderick, has occasionally contributed to this paper.
Additionally, Mr. Sult is the co-owner of 10TH AVENUE EAST PUBLISHING, a local publisher that recently released a book by Stranger calendar editor BRIAN GOEDDE (This World Is Yours, $10). Continuing along the Mr. Nelson vein, Mr. Nelson once worked at Metro Cinemas with BRADLEY STEINBACHER, with whom he now works with at The Stranger. Mr. Steinbacher’s former ROOMMATE used to date John Roderick who, readers will recall, is the subject of Mr. DeRoche’s article. Mr. Steinbacher’s former girlfriend, STEPHANIE PURE, went to high school with BO GILLILAND, former member of Western State Hurricanes, Mr. Roderick’s former band.
Additionally, Mr. Nelson’s grandmother, the late Evelyn Barrows, was a Polish Jew. POLAND is a country in EUROPE, and Europe is the continent that Mr. Roderick WALKED ACROSS; Mr. Roderick’s walk across Europe is the central metaphor of Mr. DeRoche’s article. Mr. Goedde studied in Madrid, a large city in Europe, and Harvey Danger toured Europe, but did not play Madrid. The drummer for the Long Winters, MICHAEL SHILLING, a Jew–like John Roderick, a Jesuit-educated Protestant, and Evan Sult, also a Protestant–has written for The Stranger.
[long entertaining section snipped]
Finally, the aforementioned Mr. Gilliland, who is, as already noted, a former member of Western State Hurricanes, is currently the boyfriend of former Stranger contributor (and current associate editor at the Seattle Weekly) LEAH GREENBLATT. Ms. Greenblatt has a pretty sweet ass, as does Mr. Roderick.

The crabwalk.com Northern Tier Listening Tour 2002 has been successfully completed. Much fun was had. Several beers were consumed. Wedded bliss was witnessed. Canadian rock knowledge was imparted. More details than you’d care to know will soon be typed, posted, and ignored by all the people Google’s been sending me lately on “serena williams naked” hunts. A special interim thanks to the folks who provided me with couch/futon/dungeon/bed of nails space, Fiona (Boston), Katherine (Toronto), and Ryan (Toledo).
For those of you who thought I was joking about that Cheap Date post a while back, Saturday’s paper contained evidence otherwise. Keep the ideas coming; I’ll need them.

I’m in Boston. And here’s my story from today’s front page, on the failure of a new school choice law.

Blogging may be sporadic next week, since I leave in a few hours for vacation. Still should have email access should you need to reach me.
To be clear: when I say my blogging will be sporadic, I mean in quantity. It’s pretty much always sporadic in quality.

Note to self: Continue to avoid writing here about the issues I cover there; continue keeping any opinions on education topics to myself; try to avoid becoming this guy.

Tuesday’s Salt Lake Tribune: The 2002 U.S. Army Soldier Show is coming to Dugway Proving Ground on Aug. 16, with top entertainers performing for soldiers and their families. Artists who are to perform include Destiny’s Child, Brooks and Dunn, Whitney Houston, Faith Hill, Mary J. Blige, ‘N Sync, Alanis Morrisette, Pink, Alicia Keys and Jennifer Lopez.
Correction in Wednesday’s Salt Lake Tribune: Soldiers will be impersonating top entertainers at the U.S. Army Dugway Proving Ground on Aug. 16. A brief in The Salt Lake Tribune on Tuesday misstated the identities of the performers.

A quote I need to remember to use more often in conversation: H.L. Mencken on the writing of Pres. Warren Harding: “It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it.” Seems like a quote with many uses.
Actually, Mencken’s entire passage merits quoting, as so much of his work does:
He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.