Category: Uncategorized

If I may brag for a moment: Here’s the new story on the recent troubles of my employer in this month’s Texas Monthly. After spending a few hundred words slagging on the quality of the newspaper, writer S.C. Gwynne offers this statement that we occasionally do good work:
“Their recent stories on the Wilmer-Hutchins school district and on Child Protective Services are examples of superb urban journalism. ‘The Morning News is still the best paper in the state and region,’ says Robert Rivard, the editor of the San Antonio Express-News.”

It’s amazing how much two phone calls can improve your day.
You may want to pick up copies of Sunday’s and Monday’s papers — there’ll be some fun stuff in there by yours truly.

Fantasy football update: I am proud to say my squad, the Bum Phillippi, has finished the regular season alone in first place, with a record of 11-3.
Week 14 was a dramatic one, with everything coming down to Tony Gonzalez’s performance on Monday night football. I needed Tony to have no more than 82 yards receiving and no touchdowns. His stat line: 76 yards receiving, no touchdowns. Hence, a hairline victory for the B.P. over the Diogenes Club, 97.40 to 96.70. Apparently Tony Gonzalez wasn’t the honest man Diogenes was looking for.
Now come the four-team playoffs. The semifinals pit me against Ignignokt and Err, the league’s only Aqua Teen Hunger Force-inspired squad. So you know who you have to root against, I&E relies on Brett Favre at QB, Eric Moulds, Chris Chambers, and Javon Walker at wideout, Chester Taylor, Fred Taylor and Warrick Dunn at RB, and lonely kicker David Akers. May they all be temporarily and painlessly crippled by plantar fasciitis.
As for me, I’m still starting McNabb at QB, Tomlinson, Pittman, and Rudi Johnson at RB, Vinatieri kicking, and reliable Isaac Bruce at WR. The rest of my starters are in flux, thanks to subpar production at wide receiver. Roy Williams has teased me with potential long enough. To the bench! Keenan McCardell can’t get up for a rivalry game against his former team? To the bench!
Taking their places: Laveranues Coles, hopefully recovered from a season-long slump and now in rhythm with Patrick Ramsey, and Lee Evans, the rookie phenom from Wisconsin who’s been putting up big numbers the last three weeks.

The 10 most accurately rated artists in rock history by Chuckles Klosterman. Props for the shout-out to crabwalk.com faves Sloan, and I’ve previously expressed similar thoughts about the Lemonheads. I would, however, move Tortoise from the “underrated because barely anyone seems to know who they are” category to the “overrated because certain rock critics like them too much” category.
Also, the New Radicals were actually underrated. And the lead singer was named Gregg Alexander, and his biggest fan thinks he’s totally a cool guy.

My W-H story in today’s paper, nothing exciting.
For the record, this may be the last Wilmer-Hutchins board meeting I ever attend!

I cannot tell you how much shame I am dealing with right now.
Go to Google and do an image search for bad dresser. The number one result is a childhood photo of me.
The only saving grace is that the bad-dresser tag is much more fairly applied to the two other people in the photo (which is circa 1983): My grandmother, rockin’ the lapels at stage left, and my mother, resplendent in polyester and some sort of shiny chemise. (Honestly, I look pretty hot. The pocket square is a nice touch, I’d say.)

An unreleased song that may intrigue you: The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine (live), by peerless Austinites Spoon.
Stolen from homemade indie-rock popularity contest. Note that, in the collective opinion of our nation’s blog critics, Sea Ray is the 35th best band in America today. This sets a new record for Highest Rank For A Band Whose Members I Used To Hang Out With In College. It also sets a record for Highest Rank For A Band Whose Bass Player Suffered Through A Seven Mary Three Concert In Cleveland With Me.

I love the Washington Post, and I know at least one of its copy editors pops in here once in a while (hi, Doris!). But heavens to Betsy, how did this neverending sentence make it into today’s paper?
“The Redskins (2-5 at home) were trying to prove their offense could thrive on consecutive Sundays and that their season-long problems were behind them, and Ramsey, running back Clinton Portis and wide receiver Laveranues Coles (12 catches for 100 yards) all provided quality play but not enough long plays or points to win (Washington is the lowest-scoring team in the NFL).”
That’s three parentheticals and about a gazillion clauses. People, just ’cause you don’t want to get all Hemingway doesn’t mean you have to get all Faulkner.

Here’s my first ever story about a suburban tattoo parlor — as well as my first ever story to feature extended Pantera references.
(I’m forced to link to my own site, clipfile.org, because The Powers That Be at dallasnews.com have decided they don’t have to post every story to the web site during the holidays. Because, you know, people don’t like to read as much during Hanukkah.)

True conversation, had a couple hours ago with a dude getting a Pantera tattoo in a suburban strip-mall tat parlor:
Him: So, man, you listen to a lot of metal?
Me: Not really. A little, but not much.
Him: So what kind of music do you listen to?
Me: I dunno. A lot of indie rock.
Him: Indie rock? What the fuck is indie rock? Is that like [sings in a high, “gay” voice] “La la la la la la”?
Me: Sorta.