A new study has tracked what people of different demographics find funny. Their findings (as interpreted by me): people like dumb jokes.
One of the top jokes in Germany: “Why is television called a medium? Because it is neither rare nor well-done.” (Har-dee-har-har.)
Belgians preferred: “Well, you see, there are basically three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those that can’t.”
The Swedish fave: “A guy phones the local hospital and yells, `you’ve gotta send help! My wife’s in labour!” The nurse says, `calm down. Is this her first child?’ He replies, `no! This is her husband!”‘ (Okay, that’s one’s not awful.)
Women preferred: “A man walks into a bar with a piece of Tarmac under his arm. He says to the barman: `A pint for me, and one for the road’.” (Sad, really.)
Voted dumbest joke in an accompanying Internet survey: “Why are chickens considered good employees? Because they work around the cluck.”
3 thoughts on “bad jokes”
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My favorite: “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.” Makes me laugh every time.
Okay… long joke including (inoffensive) ethnic generalizations:
A Jewish guy and a Chinese man are both getting sloshed at the bar, when out of nowhere the Jewish guy knocks the Chinese guy to the floor.
[Chinese Accent:] What was that for?!?
[Brooklyn Accent:] That was for Pearl Harbor!!
[Chinese Accent:] You stupid man! Those were Japanese, not Chinese.
[Brooklyn Accent:] Chinese, Japanese… same difference.
So they both go back to drinking, all the while, the Chinese guy is seething. After some time, the Chinese guy turns to the Jewish guy, and knocks him to the floor.
[Brooklyn Accent:] What was that for?!
[Chinese Accent:] That… was for sinking the Titanic!
[Brooklyn Accent:] What the hell?
[Chinese Accent:] Iceberg… Goldburg… same difference!
well, here’s mine then:
Two guys are walking their dogs on the beach. They notice a really cool bar as they walk along.
1st guy: hey, let’s go have a drink.
2nd guy: but we’ve got our dogs.
1: no worries, just do what I do.
Guy #1 puts on his sunglasses and walks up to the bar.
Bouncer: I’m sorry, sir. No pets allowed.
1: but this is my seeing eye dog.
B: you have a doberman as a seeing eye dog?
1: yeah, I live in a tough neighborhood.
B: oh, well, alright then. Sorry about that.
So guy #2 sees this and puts on his sunglasses and strolls up to the door.
Bouncer: I’m sorry, sir, no pets allowed.
2: This is my seeing eye dog.
B[incredulously]: You have a Chihuahua as your seeing eye dog??
2[surprised]: they gave me a f*cking chihuaha???
[cracks me up every time.]