Author: jbenton

From: comments@braums.com
To: me
Subject: Re: Your Comments to Braum’s
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2003 13:21:53 -0600
Dear Josh,
Thank you for your email requesting information on Braum’s menu items. At the present time we do not have the calorie specifications available on menu items, including the Double Dip Hot Caramel Sundae you asked about. They have never been analyzed. Once again thank you for your interest in Braum’s Ice Cream and Dairy Stores.
Sincerely,
[name withheld]
Customer Service

Just mistyped the URL for Guidelive.com, the Dallas-area entertainment site. Strangely, there’s no web site at www.guidelice.com. Shouldn’t there be? Wouldn’t we all like a few guide lice in our lives, showing us the way, helping us navigate through life’s difficult moments? They could have tiny little leashes. It would be so cute.
There is a headlice.org, though, should you need the latest lice information.

Want to get depressed? Try reading and/or editing the writing of principals and teachers. You should see the emails I get. If I had a nickel for every misplaced apostrophe, every use of “quotation marks” for emphasis, and every they’re/their/there error, I’d…have many nickels.

An earnest welcome to all the naked, horny prep school students arriving here from the Abercrombie and Fitch site. The powers that be at A&F have deemed crabwalk.com a “Cool Site.” I’ll take all the validation I can get, even from, well, Abercrombie and Fitch.
I own a grand total of one Abercrombie clothing item, a six-year-old pea coat. Fortunately, I’m a smaller person now than I was then, so it no longer fits. But a good, solid pea coat.

Byron Mouton, my hero, is now playing for the Idaho Stampede. Byron is from my hometown, grew up a few blocks from me, and was the starting small forward on last year’s NCAA champion Maryland Terrapins. Now he plays next door to a cheese- and sugar-processing factory. He’ll be rocking the NBA soon enough.

Totally and unacceptably lame-ass: The Dismemberment Plan breaks up. Bah humbug.

Whether you’re a libertarian or a unreformed Trotskyite, there’s now an excellent reason to be reading Reason.com, the web site of libertarian micromag Reason. The web site is now being run by Tim Cavanaugh, genius ex-editor of genius ex-web site Suck.com.
Cavanaugh’s brought along some of his fellow ex-Sucksters, many of them certainly desparate for freelance work: Joey Anuff, Chris Bray, Ana Marie Cox, etc. Cavanaugh sums up the Suck philosophy as “a rallying call that says, ‘This is the end of rallying calls.'” Well put.
The web site’s something of a contrast to the magazine, which can be a bit dry. (I used to subscribe, probably 10-12 years ago.) Not dry in a bad way, really — just dry in the same way The New Republic, National Review, and other wonk mags are dry. They’re all about Social Security reform, for heaven’s sake! Just try to make that sexy!
(Note: Dallas blogger Virginia Postrel is Reason’s former editor.)

Much sadness: Chanda lost to Myskina. Damned Russians. She and Kournikova (naked photos! Kournikova nude porn! Hello, Google!) lost in doubles too.
Now I just have to track her down so she can come to our high school reunion in May. Having drawn the proverbial short straw, I have to organize the damned thing. So my question, to loyal crabwalk readers: anyone have any suggestions? Any great reunion experiences you’ve had that might be worth replicating? Great ideas are always welcome. (One note: our alma mater was a very small rural school in south Louisiana, so we had only 43 graduates. So even if we get a high attendance rate, we’re still talking about a small gathering.)

Swappingtons. “Inside, you will find all sorts of books, CDs and DVDs that other folks own, but wish to swap away. The way it works is simple: You list items that you don’t want, and someone will swap you for those items. When they swap you, they transfer swap points to your account, and you mail them the item in question. Once you have the points, you can go and spend them on other items that other folks list on the site. In short, Swappingtons is a great way to get rid of any books, CDs or DVDs that you don’t want anymore, and get other items in return for them.”
Go sign up and give my name as the person who referred you (username: jbenton), so I can get me some point mojo.

Remember some months ago, when I mentioned I’d be writing an occasional column for the Dallas Morning News called “Cheap Date,” in which I’d take some lucky woman out on the town for $30 or less?
Well, the first piece ran some months ago. The second is in today’s paper. (So what if the date in question took place back in August? At least the woman in question can still stand me.)