Author: jbenton

In case any of my Canadian readers start to think only Americans get into trouble for saying, well, insensitive things, along comes David Ahenakew.

David Duke’s back in country, unfortunately.

Mac Addicts to the Rescue; or, How I Caught a Counterfeiter with a Little Help from my Friends.

Crabwalkophiles may wish to turn their TVs to TXCN between 4:00 and 5:00 this afternoon, where I’ll be pretending to know a lot about school finance.
(Fans of the ESPN program Around the Horn will be pleased to know I’ll be sitting in Tim Cowlishaw’s usual chair, mere feet from my desk.)
The fantasy football gods appear to have come through for me — barring a major explosion in production from Derrick Mason and Keith Bullock in tonight’s Monday Night Football game, it appears I’m headed to the finals. Woot!

Here’s my story from today’s front page, a sorta interesting piece on the quickly disappearing disparities between rich and poor school districts in Texas.

This morning, I saw something I never thought I would:
Two grown adults arguing — powerfully! — over who would have the opportunity to buy a Ringo Starr album.

Autobiography’s a funny thing. People made famous for their illicit behavior often want to trade on that fame — but without reminding anyone why, exactly, they came to the public’s attention in the first place.
They aspire to that special class of famous people who are famous for reasons no one quite remembers, like Shadoe Stevens or Richard Simmons.
In other words, they’re like Donna Rice Hughes. Go read that bio and see if anything jumps out at you. “Donna has given over 2500 media interviews, having appeared on virtually every national news program,” it says. Nowhere does it mention the two words that tell why, exactly, Donna Rice is famous: Gary Hart.
That’s selective autobiography at its finest.
By the way, the most annoying line by far in Donna Rice Hughes’ official bio: “Additionally, she is the Founder and Principal of DRH Enterprises, LLC, a vehicle for the honest exploration of major issues facing our culture today.” Gag.

Just to show that newspaper editors are not immune from bouts of insanity, there’s the assistant national editor of The Washington Times, who has a habit of posting his thoughts on Internet message boards. (Why a newspaper person would ever get involved in all this Internet craziness is beyond me.)
Among his thoughts: the evils of interracial relationships, why people should be “persecuted and run out of town” for supporting gay rights, the South was right, and Abe Lincoln was a “war criminal” who should have been tried for treason.

Thanks to a stunning performance last night by ex-Saint Ricky Williams, my fantasy football team (The Bobby Heberts) has eeked into the playoffs, edging out such outstandingly named squads as the Flying Alpacas, Bye Week, and Kwyjibo. This weekend, I’ll be facing the intimidating UrShellackers for a spot in the league finals.
Players you’re all encouraged to root for this weekend: Rich Gannon, Eddie George, Michael Bennett, Eric Moulds, Amani Toomer, Shannon Sharpe, Koren Robinson, Sebastian Janikowski, Simeon Rice, Jason Webster, Eric Barton, Sammy Knight, Roy Williams, and Jason Webster.
Players whose minor, pain-free, but week-long disabling you are encouraged to support: Jeff Garcia, Peerless Price, Corey Dillon, Derrick Mason, Duce Staley, Marcus Pollard, Keenan McCardell, Mike Vanderjagt, Derrick Brooks, Keith Brooking, Zach Thomas, Adam Archuleta, and Rodney Harrison.

Nice takedown in Slate of Chesa Boudin, the radical chic Yalie just named a Rhodes Scholar.