Author: jbenton

You are reading the blog of the newly annointed champion of the Jello Brains fantasy football league. Thanks to a monster game from Amani Toomer, my squad (the Bobby Heberts) eeked out a win over Quincy Augmon in the championship game, 136-132.
Not to toot my own horn, but I had the first pick in this year’s player draft. That’s normally a big plus — but I picked Marshall Faulk, who ended up laying eggs most weeks and spent the last month sitting on my bench. Despite this major setback, the Heberts rallied for me (or, perhaps, for their namesake).
It is traditional fantasy football etiquette to offer gifts to the champion.

I didn’t know that Daily Candy syndicates its content on the Scripps-Howard wire. (Ironically, the same wire that my CD reviews used to get distributed on, back when I was a Professional Rock Critic.) So the writeup they did a while back about the CD Mix of the Month Club has been published in the Arizona Daily Star, the Knoxville News-Sentinel, the Boulder Daily Camera, and who knows where else. Welcome to those of you coming here from out there in cyberspace.
And happy holidays to all y’all.

Here’s my story from today’s front page, on a new edition of Shakespeare’s plays aimed at people who use the word “crunk” in daily conversation. I never thought I’d use the words “Juliet is a hotty” on the front page of The Dallas Morning News. I wonder how my ex-girlfriend Juliet will react to picking up today’s paper.
(Aside: At the start of the year, I set a goal of getting 35 page 1 stories in 2002 — this is No. 35, just in the nick of time. No. 36 is coming Tuesday.)
I’m off to Louisiana through Wednesday.
(Update: Just realized I had another short piece in today’s paper.)

A North Carolina congressman says he developed “segregationist feelings” after spending time with black ex-Rep. Cynthia McKinney.
“I mean, she was such a bitch,” he said.
(For the record, this article is not satire.)

Dallasites, mark your calendars! April 23 to 26 is hereby reserved. Click through to learn, among other things, “what events will take place around the Colossal Colon,” and “how can I get involved with the Colossal Colon.”

Speaking of pure evil… This makes Munchausen by proxy seem almost kind.

It’s about damned time. There will always be people like David Duke who make Trent Lott look like a saint. (Update: Duke pleads guilty to mail and tax fraud. He faces 15 months in jail, but since he’s copped a plea, he might only get a few months, if that. “Duke also was charged with devising ‘a scheme to bilk his supporters of money by issuing a series of solicitations through the United States mail,’ beginning in 1993 and continuing through 1999, [U.S. Attorney Jim] Letten said….A search warrant, based on testimony from confidential informants, alleged that Duke took hundreds of thousands of dollars he solicited from supporters and gambled the money away at casinos.”)

Santa’s blog. (Actually, the whole holiday pantheon gets involved.)

I think I want this. I’m sick of paying $40 a month for a phone line I never use.

Could we please have a ban on profiles in The New York Times all about how a cultural figure wishes to be anonymous and unnoticed by the world around her?
Because, last time I checked, sitting down with a reporter from The New York Times for a profile was not a very effective way of remaining anonymous and unnoticed.