Author: jbenton

Terrorism in Early America. The history of that proto-al-Qaeda, the Barbary pirates.
Read closely for today’s vocabulary word, bastinado.

A shout-out to the DMN copy editor responsible for inserting the pot pun in the second headline to this wire story. Brought back so many sophomore year memories.

For those of you who wonder if I ever do any work, I’ve got two — count ’em, two — stories in today’s paper. On the front page, a piece on rural schools switching to a four-day school week, and on the Metro front page, a piece on a test run of the state’s new standardized test.
Alas, on that second story, The Powers That Be ended up taking out the third paragraph of the faux-movie-promo lead: You’ll never look at a No. 2 pencil the same way again.

New D-Plan track.

Tom has rightfully reprimanded me for not mentioning the 2-0 start of the New Orleans Saints. And this ain’t no soft 2-0 — an OT road win over hated Tampa Bay and a 35-20 win over Super Bowl contendahs Green Bay. (That victory was particularly sweet, since it meant Packerhead Kelly lost a bet and now owes me the CD of my choice.)
Perhaps best of all, the Saints have turned into a hella fun team — sort of like the pass-happy, big play bunch the Rams were a couple years ago. Deuce McAllister‘s always breaking big runs (like a 50-yarder and a 62-yarder last week), the receivers are downfield burners, and Aaron Brooks is looking sharp. Not the old grind-it-out offense they ran last year.
They play a tough Bears team next week, but they could pull it out. Who day say dey gonna beat dem Saints? Who dat? Who dat?

My server’s fixed, or at least something approaching fixed. Let the banal crabwalk.com goodness return!
Here’s my cheese sandwich post of the day: Saw a bunch of movies over the weekend. American Graffiti (that Cindy Williams sure was a cutie), Lawrence of Arabia (a remarkable amount of gay subtext for a mainstream 1962 movie), A Streetcar Named Desire (apparently Marlon Brando was not fat at some point), and, last night on IMAX, Apollo 13.

To the fine young gentleman who smashed my car window, stole my CD player, then — as a coup de grace — randomly poured a bottle of Coke all over my back seat: thanks, asshole!
A special bonus thank you for prying open the (non-functioning) air conditioning vents. I wasn’t aware that either (a) air conditioning vents were so valuable on the black market or (b) the quickest way to the CD player was through the AC.

Sadly, “Faith” has not been elected mayor of Washington, D.C. It’s sad because she seems to be one of the most intriguing political figures of our time. And being endorsed by Marlon Brando can’t hurt.

Just got this from Dena, who’s helping run the Freedom Run, a 9/11-themes 5K here in Dallas Thursday night:
“I have a sponsor for a corporate team that does not have any walkers/runners, so I am trying to find folks to participate FOR FREE. Do you know anyone who would be interested in walking or running a 5K? The perks of a corporate team: free t-shirt, can go to the media/volunteer/corporate team party tonight, and receive a coupon for a free drink and free appetizer from either On the Border or Key West Roadhouse (good from Thursday to Sunday). The only thing that I’d need to do would be get whomever to sign a waiver form.”
Email me or leave a comment ASAP if you’re interested.

Surprise! Aliens didn’t really visit a remote African tribe 5,000 years ago.