Boo, hiss: Sea Ray, one of the Official Bands of Crabwalk.com, breaks up. “The biggest difficulty we’ve failed to overcome is the financial challenge of being in an independent band full-time while maintaining any semblance of a personal life, as well.”
Boo, hiss: The season of the Bum Phillippi, my fantasy football team, is over. After weeks of teasing me with promising potential and piss-poor performance, Roy Williams was finally sent to my bench. So what does he do? 104 yards, two touchdowns. Had I started him, I’d be in the league finals. But instead, the BPs have plenty of time to contemplate what went wrong in the offseason. I’m considering firing the general manager, the offensive-line coach — hell, maybe the water boy.
Author: jbenton
cheating goes worldwide
Day two of my cheating series, on today’s front page:
Education researchers are clear: The vast majority of teachers are honest people and wouldn’t think of doctoring their students’ results on a standardized test.
But unfortunately, “the vast majority” doesn’t include everybody. In a high-pressure, high-stakes environment, some teachers are going to cross an ethical line.
Some experts say the Texas Education Agency isn’t doing enough to track them down. In some cases, the agency ignores information that could tip the agency off to improper behavior.
Also, in case you didn’t catch my story in Sunday’s DMN, perhaps you caught it on CNN, or in the Washington Post, the Guardian UK, USA Today, Newsday, or the Boston Globe.
Or in the Chicago Sun-Times, the New York Sun, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Minneapolis Star-Tribune, the New Orleans Times-Picayune, the Charlotte Observer, the San Jose Mercury News, the Kansas City Star, the St. Paul Pioneer Press, or the Raleigh News & Observer.
Or, if you like your markets a little smaller, the Canton Repository, the Bradenton Herald, the El Paso Times, the Barre Montpelier Times Argus, the Nashua Telegraph, the Contra Costa Times, the Billings Gazette, the Sioux City Journal, the Albuquerque Journal, the Lakeland Ledger, the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel, the The (Columbia, S.C.) State, the Grand Forks Herald, the Akron Beacon-Journal, or the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette.
crabwalk breaks cheating scandal!
Here’s that story I was talking about, on today’s front page. The opening paragraphs:
A Dallas Morning News data analysis has uncovered strong evidence of organized, educator-led cheating on the TAKS test in dozens of Texas schools –
gay brazilian parrot
Thanks to my Secret Santa, I can confirm that Stones Throw 101 kicks all kinds of ass. Such a perfect fusion of soul, funk, jazz, and hip-hop. I find myself bobbing my head far more than I should at my workplace.
Plus, it has the best lyric of all time: “I might have been a parrot / A gay Brazilian parrot / If someone hadn’t wakened me and / Pulled me out of bed.”
txcn and khou
Just made my final appearance on TXCN. (TXCN is laying off most of its staff as of Jan. 1, and my little guest appearances on the network will sadly come to a close.)
Also just made my first-ever appearance on KHOU, the CBS affiliate in Houston. You Houstonians can spot me (looking a little worn out) on the Sunday-and Monday-night late news.
All this is about my Sunday and Monday stories, which you’ll probably want to check out.
43 plus 43
I wonder if 43folders.com and 43things.com ever, you know, hang out.
built to spill
Isn’t it about time for a new Built to Spill album? It’s been almost four years.
I’m just sayin’. It’s amazing how much more productive a strong cup of coffee and Ancient Melodies of the Future in your headphones can make you. Makes you feel like the sunniest marauding Visigoth in all of Europe.
go me
If I may brag for a moment: Here’s the new story on the recent troubles of my employer in this month’s Texas Monthly. After spending a few hundred words slagging on the quality of the newspaper, writer S.C. Gwynne offers this statement that we occasionally do good work:
“Their recent stories on the Wilmer-Hutchins school district and on Child Protective Services are examples of superb urban journalism. ‘The Morning News is still the best paper in the state and region,’ says Robert Rivard, the editor of the San Antonio Express-News.”
yay
It’s amazing how much two phone calls can improve your day.
You may want to pick up copies of Sunday’s and Monday’s papers — there’ll be some fun stuff in there by yours truly.
fantasy football update
Fantasy football update: I am proud to say my squad, the Bum Phillippi, has finished the regular season alone in first place, with a record of 11-3.
Week 14 was a dramatic one, with everything coming down to Tony Gonzalez’s performance on Monday night football. I needed Tony to have no more than 82 yards receiving and no touchdowns. His stat line: 76 yards receiving, no touchdowns. Hence, a hairline victory for the B.P. over the Diogenes Club, 97.40 to 96.70. Apparently Tony Gonzalez wasn’t the honest man Diogenes was looking for.
Now come the four-team playoffs. The semifinals pit me against Ignignokt and Err, the league’s only Aqua Teen Hunger Force-inspired squad. So you know who you have to root against, I&E relies on Brett Favre at QB, Eric Moulds, Chris Chambers, and Javon Walker at wideout, Chester Taylor, Fred Taylor and Warrick Dunn at RB, and lonely kicker David Akers. May they all be temporarily and painlessly crippled by plantar fasciitis.
As for me, I’m still starting McNabb at QB, Tomlinson, Pittman, and Rudi Johnson at RB, Vinatieri kicking, and reliable Isaac Bruce at WR. The rest of my starters are in flux, thanks to subpar production at wide receiver. Roy Williams has teased me with potential long enough. To the bench! Keenan McCardell can’t get up for a rivalry game against his former team? To the bench!
Taking their places: Laveranues Coles, hopefully recovered from a season-long slump and now in rhythm with Patrick Ramsey, and Lee Evans, the rookie phenom from Wisconsin who’s been putting up big numbers the last three weeks.