Author: jbenton

The 10 most accurately rated artists in rock history by Chuckles Klosterman. Props for the shout-out to crabwalk.com faves Sloan, and I’ve previously expressed similar thoughts about the Lemonheads. I would, however, move Tortoise from the “underrated because barely anyone seems to know who they are” category to the “overrated because certain rock critics like them too much” category.
Also, the New Radicals were actually underrated. And the lead singer was named Gregg Alexander, and his biggest fan thinks he’s totally a cool guy.

My W-H story in today’s paper, nothing exciting.
For the record, this may be the last Wilmer-Hutchins board meeting I ever attend!

I cannot tell you how much shame I am dealing with right now.
Go to Google and do an image search for bad dresser. The number one result is a childhood photo of me.
The only saving grace is that the bad-dresser tag is much more fairly applied to the two other people in the photo (which is circa 1983): My grandmother, rockin’ the lapels at stage left, and my mother, resplendent in polyester and some sort of shiny chemise. (Honestly, I look pretty hot. The pocket square is a nice touch, I’d say.)

An unreleased song that may intrigue you: The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine (live), by peerless Austinites Spoon.
Stolen from homemade indie-rock popularity contest. Note that, in the collective opinion of our nation’s blog critics, Sea Ray is the 35th best band in America today. This sets a new record for Highest Rank For A Band Whose Members I Used To Hang Out With In College. It also sets a record for Highest Rank For A Band Whose Bass Player Suffered Through A Seven Mary Three Concert In Cleveland With Me.

I love the Washington Post, and I know at least one of its copy editors pops in here once in a while (hi, Doris!). But heavens to Betsy, how did this neverending sentence make it into today’s paper?
“The Redskins (2-5 at home) were trying to prove their offense could thrive on consecutive Sundays and that their season-long problems were behind them, and Ramsey, running back Clinton Portis and wide receiver Laveranues Coles (12 catches for 100 yards) all provided quality play but not enough long plays or points to win (Washington is the lowest-scoring team in the NFL).”
That’s three parentheticals and about a gazillion clauses. People, just ’cause you don’t want to get all Hemingway doesn’t mean you have to get all Faulkner.

Here’s my first ever story about a suburban tattoo parlor — as well as my first ever story to feature extended Pantera references.
(I’m forced to link to my own site, clipfile.org, because The Powers That Be at dallasnews.com have decided they don’t have to post every story to the web site during the holidays. Because, you know, people don’t like to read as much during Hanukkah.)

True conversation, had a couple hours ago with a dude getting a Pantera tattoo in a suburban strip-mall tat parlor:
Him: So, man, you listen to a lot of metal?
Me: Not really. A little, but not much.
Him: So what kind of music do you listen to?
Me: I dunno. A lot of indie rock.
Him: Indie rock? What the fuck is indie rock? Is that like [sings in a high, “gay” voice] “La la la la la la”?
Me: Sorta.

Man, with all the Orange County blogging I’ve been doing lately, I should start watching The O.C. or something.
Remember the Greg Haidl case, the O.C. teen rapist of unconscious underaged girls who has thus far gotten off, thanks to his lawyer’s campaign of turning a near-coma rape victim into a wannabe porn-star “slut”? (Search the archives for “haidl” to find past entries.) Well, the OC Weekly has been doing its usual Menckenesque work fighting the good fight. Find all its recent Haidl stories here. Among the highlights:
– Skeezy (and self-proclaimed “World Famous”) lawyer tries to scam rape victim, says his own past habits of molesting underaged girls (while a prosecutor!) is besides the point.
– The shrink who said Haidl was so “depressed” he shouldn’t be jailed for causing an accident while underaged drunk driving has himself been accused of screwing his suicidal patients (and paying for them to have boob jobs), trying to hire a hit man to kill his wife, and prescribing narcotics to his drug-addicted business partner.
– Haidl getting tasered for throwing a tantrum when jail officials tried to stop him from giving candy to a child rapist.
The weekly also, wisely, named Haidl’s chief attorney — Joseph “Slut! Nut! Pathological liar! Wannabe porn star! Tease! Mess! Master manipulator! Compulsive liar!” Cavallo — O.C.’s Scariest Person 2004.

More Steve Rocco: Click the image of the mystery man in the right column here for video of the man in action. I had no idea he looks so much like Smithereens-era Pat Dinizio. Or perhaps Monkees-era Michael Nesmith gone to seed.
Also, you’ll get to hear an extended version of Rocco’s board-meeting remarks, including his thoughts on industrial slavery. Also, you’ll get to see how hilariously bad Los Angeles local TV news is.
Plus there’s this story, reporting Rocco’s first interview with the press, which contains some of the funniest non-fiction ever to appear in print:
Rocco spoke in veiled terms of his beliefs, saying that to understand them one must first read a book he self-published in 1992, “Behind The Orange Curtain: Secret Chronicles and Public Record Accounts of Corruption, Murder and Scandal of Corporate and Political California.”
Rocco said the book explores the effects of his arrest and conviction in 1980 for stealing a packet of sausages and a few rolls of film from a grocery store.
The incident, which he called a setup, had a big impact on his life, Rocco said. At the time, he says he was working as a substitute teacher in Orange Unified schools as well as other districts. His hopes to be hired as a full-time teacher in Orange, he said, were thwarted because of that arrest and another three years later on charges that he stole record albums from a library.
“Revenge,” he said, is too strong a word to describe his goal