The latest installment of People Named Joshua Benton Who Are Not, For The Record, Me:
I finally broke up with Josh today and told him that I was interested in someone else. I cant be with him as long as he is in jail. He cant take care of us as long as he is a dope head.
Here’s my story — a global exclusive! — from today’s front page:
Texas officials have tried to artificially boost test scores by eliminating 10 percent of the state’s students from the No Child Left Behind accountability system – including many of the state’s most disadvantaged children.
But federal authorities quietly blocked the attempt last month – along with three other proposed changes that would have improved the appearance, if not the reality, of Texas schools’ performance.
It’s the latest step in the continuing dance between the U.S. Department of Education and states seeking to make life easier for their schools.
“We have this race-to-the-bottom problem,” said Kevin Carey, a researcher at the Education Sector think tank who has studied how states negotiate with the federal government. “One state comes up with a particular wrinkle that has the effect of reducing pressure on schools to achieve. Other states notice it and say, ‘Oh, yeah, can we do that too?’ “
Our Food and Drug Administration, fighting to protect the nation from rogue Jordan almonds:
Administration Information Letter (AIL) No. 173, October 20, 1941, stated that the term “Jordan” almonds was not considered misleading solely because almonds were not of Palestinian origin. This AIL read as follows:
“We have your letter of September 28 inquiring as to the use of the term ‘Jordan Almonds’ on labels for sugar-coated almonds in which almonds other than ‘genuine Spanish Jordan Almonds’ are used.
“Upon receipt of a similar inquiry as to the present-day consumer understanding of the term ‘Jordan Almonds” in connection with the confection you have in mind we undertook a little research as to the origin and evolution of the term. As far as we can determine the term ‘Jordan Almonds’ according to one source of information came from the French word ‘jardin,’ meaning ‘garden,’ ‘hence, a cultivated almond’ (Webster’s New International Dictionary). Another source of information indicated that at one time the term referred to a variety of almonds originally grown along the Jordan River in Palestine characterized by long, thin, slender, rather smooth kernels in thick, heavy shells…”
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. My third time as a finalist for the Livingston Award has ended just like the last two: with me not winning. Alas.
How to make an iPod charger out of an Altoids tin and 2 AA batteries. Build it yourself or buy a kit.
An update on Tom Stoppard, my favorite playwright. His new play is his first to be about his native Czechoslovakia. Which seems strange, since I’ve always thought of his work as having a Central European flavor — although maybe that’s just me misremembering Travesties. (I was briefly into Czech theater around the time the Berlin Wall came down; I remember trying (unsuccessfully) to convince my high school drama teacher to put on Havel’s The Memorandum.)
Stoppard’s new one, Rock ‘n’ Roll, apparently features Syd Barrett as an off-screen character, making it at least the third work of his to feature Pink Floyd prominently. (Joining the film version of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead and the great play The Real Thing.)
Update: Here’s another Stoppard piece from the British newspapers.
You know, making fun of William Shatner lost its appeal some years ago — around the time when the ersatz Kirk began to understand the jokes and embrace his own absurdity. When did that happen, exactly? 1973? 1985? 1992?
I am no shatnerologist, but I believe the video below is strong evidence that his date of self-realization came after 1978, when he performed this (apparently irony-free) version of Elton John’s “Rocket Man.” (Introduction by Bernie Taupin!) Trust me — it rewards an extended listen, particularly around the 2:00 and 3:50 marks.
Apologies for the lack of posting lately (and the absence of MP3 Monday). I was in New Orleans for an education writers convention and have been running around. Regular posting to resume shortly.
Observant readers may have noticed that I haven’t linked to many of my stories from the DMN recently. That’s because…I haven’t been writing much to link to. I’ve been off writing a series of stories, and that series finally ran over the last three days.
Sunday: “For a newborn college, the road to respectability runs through accreditation. It can take a school up to a decade to earn the nation’s official mark of quality. But last year some Dallas investors, keen to quickly launch a profitable revolution in higher education, found a shortcut to accreditation. They bought it.” Plus a sidebar.
Monday: “Dallas entrepreneur Randy Best has owned more than 100 companies in his career. Bakeries and defense contractors. Greeting-card makers and health-care companies. Companies that sell telecom equipment and companies that sell cheerleading equipment. But now, at 63, his focus is fully on education. Mr. Best is launching a network of for-profit education companies that he says could revolutionize the way students are taught, both in the U.S. and around the world.” With a sidebar on former Dallas superintendent Mike Moses and his current life in the private sector.
Tuesday: “Gerald Heeger is a newcomer to Texas, but he isn’t afraid to set Texas-size goals. In five years, he wants his company, Whitney International University, to enroll more than half a million students around the world and be on its way to becoming the biggest provider of higher education the Earth has ever seen. ‘How’s that for audacity?’ Dr. Heeger said in his downtown Dallas office. ‘I believe there’s a big problem in the world, and big problems need big solutions.'” Plus a sidebar on the company’s plans to “redefine” high school.
“But…he’s gay!“: Truly great moments in local TV news. (Dallas angle: She’s a UNT grad and Dallas native.)
Afro Promo, a history of 20th-century black culture through the lens of movie trailers. Featuring Foxy Brown (for those who like seeing Pam Grier shoot people) and St. Louis Blues (featuring Nat Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Eartha Kitt, and more).
Longtime readers may remember all my stories in 2004-05 about cheating on the TAKS, the state standardized test here in Texas. Some state officials said my stories — which found evidence that hundreds of Texas schools may be cheating — exaggerated the size of the problem. To check it out for themselves, they hired a test-security firm to look for cheaters.
Which is prologue for my story on the front page today:
About one in 12 Texas schools had unusual TAKS results that suggest cheating occurred last year, according to a consultant hired by the Texas Education Agency.
The consultant, a Utah test security firm named Caveon, was hired after a Dallas Morning News series found suspicious scores in nearly 400 schools statewide, based on 2003 and 2004 testing results.
Caveon’s analysis, using 2005 TAKS results, found even more: 609 schools, or 8.6 percent of the state’s campuses.