Category: Uncategorized

two leap poems

Finally — really, finally; I’ve been posting too much today — two more entries from the Embarrassing Early Josh files. I had lunch with an old teacher Saturday. She taught me from second to fifth grade, and she dug out an old class newsletter from 1983, in which we students had to write little poems or one-paragraph essays. Here are my two poems:
Computers
Black and colorful
Goto 100, Run, Print, Gosub
Take over the world
Robots
Commentary: The author was learning BASIC on a then-cutting-edge TRS-80 — hence the programming lingo in line 3. The inherent contradiction of “black and colorful” evokes the classic semiotic phrase “colorless green ideas ideas sleep furiously” (itself hijacked for the sidebar of salmon’s site). The sudden evocation of robots taking over the world brings us to Yeatsian territory. In all, a stirring early work.
We’ve had 40 presidents,
And they’ve all been great
But some were like Taft,
They ate, and ate, and ate!!!!
Washington wasn’t the first
president, believe it or not.
The first president of the
colonies was: John Hancock!!!!
Commentary: Clearly the author is trying to attract attention through his liberal use of exclamation points — perhaps more exclamation points than he has used in the 19 years since. The reference to William Howard Taft could be construed as a prediction that the author would end up attending Taft’s alma mater, or that he would, in 1998, cover the Ohio gubernatorial campaign of Taft’s grandson Bob. Alternately, it could be a prediction that the author would some day weigh 340 pounds. One hopes not. The blanket support for all presidents would not last long — roughly six years, until he got a subscription to The Nation. The author is also in error in line 8: it was John Hanson, not not the floridly-signing John Hancock who deserved the rightful title. But the poem loses none of its power because of the error.

3wk goes stereo

FYI, 3WK is now broadcasting in stereo after many months of focusing on low-bandwith mono connections. It’s a nice little slice of adventurous indie rock to get you through your work day.

galatoire’s waiter fired

A great link from Chuck, on the controversy surrounding the firing of a waiter at Galatoire’s, one of the classic old New Orleans Creole restaurants. It’s a fascinating story, and not just for those of us interested in the hidebound traditions of the city, with all their attendant benefits and drawbacks. Definitely worth a read. (There’s even a web site devoted to the waiter’s cause.)

brainstorming for texas living

It’s time again for crabwalk.com-as-focus-group. I’m meeting with the Texas Living staff tomorrow to discuss how to get more young readers interested in the section.
Among the questions we’re looking for answers to: What sorts of stories do young people want to read? What’s appealing about the section now? What sorts of topics and themes are young readers interested in? Any syndicated columns or features that would be good additions? Any good ways to get young voices in the paper?
I’d love to hear any ideas you guys have. (FYI, when they say young people, they pretty much mean 16-25 or so. I guess I’m not a young person any more. Sigh. By the way, I calculated on the drive back to Dallas last night that, as of Saturday, my 20s are now two-thirds over. Prepare the hearse.)

childhood photos

Every once in a while, people ask me why my photo page still offers up only a single rodent weasel, particularly now that I have a digital camera. Well, after Rayne this weekend, I present a new occasional crabwalk.com feature: I Wore That?
Consider it a trip through bad fashion decisions past. Luckily enough, all of today’s examples come from ages 5 to 9 or so, so fashion blame has to go primarily to the adults in my life who had credit cards and, thus, some degree of control over my clothing. (Note: these are digital photos of scrapbook photos, so the quality’s iffy on some. And these were designed for a Mac, so they’ll probably look dark on a PC.)
– A stunning vest. Archival research shows that Mazie was waaaay too into the vests-for-Josh movement in the early 1980s. Notice the lovely western pattern on the shirt, and the distant look in the eyes. (This is the same outfit, except I look really surly.)
– Speaking of western looks. That’s an allergy necklace, by the way.
– Look at the size of that bow tie! This was taken after my first communion, and the look on my face sums up my thoughts on organized religion at the time.
– Notice the writing on the shirt: “Drag Strip Fever.” That’s called casting against type. Also notice the watch: on my right wrist, not my left, a practice I continued until The Teen Years. And shoved so far up my arm it might as well be wrapped around my elbow.
– I’m sure my sour look is caused by my internal concerns about ethnic stereotyping.
– Look at those ears! Epic in scale! Thankfully, my head eventually grew to match them. (No jokes, please.)
– Fuzzy photo, but conclusive proof that I once wore overalls non-ironically.
– Check out those velcro kicks.
– Stylin’.
– Which one of these two people became a rock star and which one became a nerdy writer?
Finally, three bonus photos:
– Childhood bunnies.
– Proof that I wasn’t the only bad dresser circa 1984. (That’s Mazie on the left and my mom on the right.)
– And finally, I wrote this back in October:
In Pigeon Falls Forge [Tennessee], they had, among other things…the Police Museum, featuring the life story of McNairy County Sheriff Buford Pusser, who was shot eight times and knifed seven more (I have a very strong childhood memory of the sign at the entrance: “We Have Buford Pusser’s Death Car”).
Well, now there’s proof. (Cousins T-Ron and Pam on either side.)