Dude, Shaq’s at my Walgreens!
blog post updates
Updates on two recent crabwalk.com posts:
May 24, The woman who confuses blindness with homosexuality: Here’s a different version of the video that includes the blind-not-gay mountain climber’s reaction.
May 15, fuzzy writing on the new West Texas speed limit: A later AP story clarifies what the original story fudged: “Agency studies found 85 percent of drivers on those highways are already cruising between 76-79 mph, said Carol Ranson, deputy director for traffic operations.”
another not-me josh benton
The latest installment of People Named Joshua Benton Who Are Not, For The Record, Me:
I finally broke up with Josh today and told him that I was interested in someone else. I cant be with him as long as he is in jail. He cant take care of us as long as he is a dope head.
texas and ayp
Here’s my story — a global exclusive! — from today’s front page:
Texas officials have tried to artificially boost test scores by eliminating 10 percent of the state’s students from the No Child Left Behind accountability system – including many of the state’s most disadvantaged children.
But federal authorities quietly blocked the attempt last month – along with three other proposed changes that would have improved the appearance, if not the reality, of Texas schools’ performance.
It’s the latest step in the continuing dance between the U.S. Department of Education and states seeking to make life easier for their schools.
“We have this race-to-the-bottom problem,” said Kevin Carey, a researcher at the Education Sector think tank who has studied how states negotiate with the federal government. “One state comes up with a particular wrinkle that has the effect of reducing pressure on schools to achieve. Other states notice it and say, ‘Oh, yeah, can we do that too?’ “
rogue jordan almonds
Our Food and Drug Administration, fighting to protect the nation from rogue Jordan almonds:
Administration Information Letter (AIL) No. 173, October 20, 1941, stated that the term “Jordan” almonds was not considered misleading solely because almonds were not of Palestinian origin. This AIL read as follows:
“We have your letter of September 28 inquiring as to the use of the term ‘Jordan Almonds’ on labels for sugar-coated almonds in which almonds other than ‘genuine Spanish Jordan Almonds’ are used.
“Upon receipt of a similar inquiry as to the present-day consumer understanding of the term ‘Jordan Almonds” in connection with the confection you have in mind we undertook a little research as to the origin and evolution of the term. As far as we can determine the term ‘Jordan Almonds’ according to one source of information came from the French word ‘jardin,’ meaning ‘garden,’ ‘hence, a cultivated almond’ (Webster’s New International Dictionary). Another source of information indicated that at one time the term referred to a variety of almonds originally grown along the Jordan River in Palestine characterized by long, thin, slender, rather smooth kernels in thick, heavy shells…”
livingston awards lame-o
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. My third time as a finalist for the Livingston Award has ended just like the last two: with me not winning. Alas.
ipod charger, tom stoppard/vaclav havel
How to make an iPod charger out of an Altoids tin and 2 AA batteries. Build it yourself or buy a kit.
An update on Tom Stoppard, my favorite playwright. His new play is his first to be about his native Czechoslovakia. Which seems strange, since I’ve always thought of his work as having a Central European flavor — although maybe that’s just me misremembering Travesties. (I was briefly into Czech theater around the time the Berlin Wall came down; I remember trying (unsuccessfully) to convince my high school drama teacher to put on Havel’s The Memorandum.)
Stoppard’s new one, Rock ‘n’ Roll, apparently features Syd Barrett as an off-screen character, making it at least the third work of his to feature Pink Floyd prominently. (Joining the film version of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead and the great play The Real Thing.)
Update: Here’s another Stoppard piece from the British newspapers.
william shatner as rocket man
You know, making fun of William Shatner lost its appeal some years ago — around the time when the ersatz Kirk began to understand the jokes and embrace his own absurdity. When did that happen, exactly? 1973? 1985? 1992?
I am no shatnerologist, but I believe the video below is strong evidence that his date of self-realization came after 1978, when he performed this (apparently irony-free) version of Elton John’s “Rocket Man.” (Introduction by Bernie Taupin!) Trust me — it rewards an extended listen, particularly around the 2:00 and 3:50 marks.
Apologies for the lack of posting lately (and the absence of MP3 Monday). I was in New Orleans for an education writers convention and have been running around. Regular posting to resume shortly.
randy best series
Observant readers may have noticed that I haven’t linked to many of my stories from the DMN recently. That’s because…I haven’t been writing much to link to. I’ve been off writing a series of stories, and that series finally ran over the last three days.
Sunday: “For a newborn college, the road to respectability runs through accreditation. It can take a school up to a decade to earn the nation’s official mark of quality. But last year some Dallas investors, keen to quickly launch a profitable revolution in higher education, found a shortcut to accreditation. They bought it.” Plus a sidebar.
Monday: “Dallas entrepreneur Randy Best has owned more than 100 companies in his career. Bakeries and defense contractors. Greeting-card makers and health-care companies. Companies that sell telecom equipment and companies that sell cheerleading equipment. But now, at 63, his focus is fully on education. Mr. Best is launching a network of for-profit education companies that he says could revolutionize the way students are taught, both in the U.S. and around the world.” With a sidebar on former Dallas superintendent Mike Moses and his current life in the private sector.
Tuesday: “Gerald Heeger is a newcomer to Texas, but he isn’t afraid to set Texas-size goals. In five years, he wants his company, Whitney International University, to enroll more than half a million students around the world and be on its way to becoming the biggest provider of higher education the Earth has ever seen. ‘How’s that for audacity?’ Dr. Heeger said in his downtown Dallas office. ‘I believe there’s a big problem in the world, and big problems need big solutions.'” Plus a sidebar on the company’s plans to “redefine” high school.
MP3 Monday: May 29, 2006
Week Five of MP3 Monday brings a brand new theme: Songs performed live on The Old Grey Whistle Test, the BBC music show that aired from 1971 to 1987. During its lifespan, it was probably the premiere televised source for new music, with particular focus on soul, punk, postpunk, and (since this was early ’80s Britain) reggae.
The BBC has issued a series of DVDs compiling performances from the show, which has resulted in fans uploading videos to Youtube. I’ve ripped the MP3s below from those videos; links to more of those at the bottom.
As always, songs will be available for download for a week, so grab ’em quick.
1. “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers. From the November 21, 1972 episode. Originally from the album Just As I Am (1971).
Bill Withers got a late start in the music game, not recording until his early 30s and only after careers in the military and aircraft assembly. Of his first album, from which “Ain’t No Sunshine” is taken, he said: “I was just making a record. I didn’t know whether anyone was going to like it or not. Had nobody gone for that first record, I would have probably just gone on with life and forgot about the whole thing.” That would have been a shame, since he has a wonderfully calming, human-scale soul voice.
Judging by the sweat in Bill’s eyes, the lights at BBC Television Centre must have been turned up high the day this track was recorded. Hip-hop heads will notice legendary session man James Gadson on drums. If you saw the great documentary Keepintime — in which Gadson and some other classic soul drummers meet up with the DJs (Cut Chemist, Madlib, J-Rocc, DJ Shadow) who sample their old sides — you’ll remember Gadson as the crazy-looking old dude. Non-hip-hop heads will simply notice his permagrin and great suit.
And while I’m at it, here’s one more Bill Withers track: “I Can’t Write Left Handed,” from 1972’s Live at Carnegie Hall.
2. “Can’t Stand Losing You” by The Police. From the October 3, 1978 episode. Originally from the album Outlandos d’Amour (1978).
For those of us who first heard The Police when they had already hit the big time (Synchronicity-era), it’s nice to see them young and scrappy. “Can’t Stand Losing You” was the first single from their first album and it went nowhere initially. This Whistle Test appearance came just as the band was picking up steam.
In the video, a coltish young Sting looks so much more punk than he would in later tantric years, with his bleached spiked hair turned lime green by the overhead lights. Although he would have been around 27 at the time, he looks an awkward 19. Also a good reminder of how great a drummer Stewart Copeland was.
Also, Sting stole Harry Caray’s glasses.
3. “To Hell With Poverty” by Gang of Four. Originally from the EP Another Day/Another Dollar (1982). From the April 11, 1981 episode.
Gang of Four was the British parallel to Mission of Burma, an angular post-punk band that mixed rigid funk, left-wing politics, and names derived from Asian governments. (Brits would, perhaps rightly, prefer to call Mission of Burma the American parallel to Gang of Four.)
Like Burma, Gang of Four has seen its sound become hugely influential among a certain school of contemporary acts (Franz Ferdinand, The Rapture, Bloc Party, et al) and has recently reformed. If you want to buy an album, Entertainment! — which still sounds fresh, abrasive, and fun 27 years later — is the clear recommendation.
The strangest thing about this video is how downright regular the Four look. By which I mean: how dorky they look. They could be your local Class 2A all-district cross-country team circa 1984.
Finally, here are some other interesting videos from Whistle Test. The ones in bold are of particular interest:
- The Pet Shop Boys, “Opportunities”
- Dire Straits, “Sultans of Swing”
- Cat Stevens, “If I Laugh”
- U2, “Exit”
- Thomas Dolby, “Hyperactive”
- Patti Smith, “Because the Night”
- The Undertones, “Jimmy Jimmy”
- The Go-Gos, “We Got the Beat”
- Adam and the Ants, “Ants Invasion”
- Captain Beefheart, “This Is The Day”
- Gary Numan & Tubeway Army, “Are ‘Friends’ Electric?”
- Blondie, “(I’m Always Touched by Your) Presence, Dear”
- The Jam, “Billy Hunt” and “In the Street Today”
- Buzzcocks, “Nothing Left”
- XTC, “Radios in Motion”
- Judas Priest, “Rocka Rolla”
- Madness, “Night Boat to Cairo”
- The Specials, “Rudy, A Message To You”
- David Bowie, “Queen Bitch”
- Aztec Camera, “Walk Out to Winter”
- Little Feat, “Fat Man in the Bathtub”
- Eurythmics, “Never Gonna Cry Again”
- P.I.L., “Careering”
- Tom Waits, “Small Change”
- Ramones, “Don’t Come Close”
- The Damned, “I Just Can’t Be Happy Today”
Stick around for the ending of that Damned track. It’s so much harder being punk rock when you’re in an empty studio.
Finally, a classic video of The Edgar Winter Group doing “Frankenstein”, a symbol of prog rock at its most progtastic. Dude rocks a keytar and oh so much more! Truly awesome in its awesomeness. So awesome, in fact, that it’s parodied, three decades later, in this sketch from a BBC comedy show.