Author: jbenton

Today is the 15th anniversary of the toppling of the Berlin Wall.
Or, as I prefer to think of it, the fifth anniversary of my writing a story about the 10th anniversary of the toppling of the Berlin Wall.

From today’s paper: The Wilmer-Hutchins administration building was silent Monday night after district officials unsuccessfully tried to convince a judge its school board should be allowed to meet.
You may want to pick up tomorrow’s paper. If you see a big story on the front page with my name attached, you may want to read it.
If there is no such story, you’ll want to pick up Thursday’s paper. Either way you’ll be rewarded.

Who knew Yassir Arafat was such a Wes Anderson fan?

Eat me: “Ever the eccentric, [former “Dallas” star Larry] Hagman has stipulated that upon his death, he wants his body to be ground in a wood chipper and scattered in a field, where wheat is to be harvested for a cake to be eaten by his friends and family one year later. Everyone in the cast said that when that time comes, they’d happily accept a slice of Larry.”
In other news, I’ll be appearing on TXCN throughout the evening.

Voice mail message of the day (so far): “You are not only stupid, you are racist and you are classist…Call me back, unless you’re too stupid to find the dial on the telephone.”
She was just as charming when we talked later.

My p. 1 package in today’s paper — complete with two global exclusives:
– “On this year’s third-grade TAKS reading test, an unlikely school finished No. 1 in the state. Wilmer Elementary

Here’s my story from today’s paper: “The Wilmer-Hutchins school board is supposed to meet Monday night. That is, if it’s allowed to.” Featuring the possible return to office of indicted superintendent Charles Matthews!
Watch Sunday’s paper — I should have a big package of stories on the front page you may find interesting.
Also, happy birthday to me. Today, I am 29. That makes me old.

Two People-Who-Make-Me-Very-Angry updates:
– For more on the ludicrous “Arafat’s sick and a bad guy — ergo, he must be a big gay with AIDS!” idiocies of David Frum, check out this odious discussion thread from some loony Freepers. “Does Arafat have AIDS? Hmmmmmm…… Can you get AIDS from a camel?” “Whether he does or not let’s spread the rumor anyway.” “It is rumored that he and Bill Clinton exchanged bodily fluids during a meeting at the White House.” “The reason Arafat was shipped from Egypt (where he was a small time businessman) to the jordanian occupied west bank was because he was caught flagrente delecto in a homosexual act. He was given the choice: either be killed for impurity, or go be the paymaster for a terrorist gang.” Assholes.
– This site’s most loathed accused gang rapist, Gregory Haidl, caused a head-on traffic collision after he’d been drinking. Of course, Haidl’s lawyers claim he hadn’t been drinking at all — the “false positive” on his sobriety test was caused by…eating Indian food! Yeah, chicken tikka masala always makes me swerve into oncoming traffic.
Haidl’s lawyers are now claiming their asshole client — a 19-year-old who triumphantly videotaped himself anally raping an unconscious girl with a Snapple bottle while slamming her head into a pool table — is “depressed” and on suicide watch — and that therefore he shouldn’t be sent to jail for violating the terms of his parole. Awww, poor little Gwegy Haidwl. Can’t stand the thought of being on the receiving end of anal play, Snapple or no Snapple. Asshole.

Giant squid are kicking our ass.
Screwed-up Chinese-character tattoos. “Large Domesticated Live Stock.”
Download a free CD here. Spoon, My Morning Jacket, Gilberto Gil, and more.
Ricky Jay on the radio.
Panda-Z and Hamgear.

Hey, kids! A world leader, hated by many, is dying! If you’re a “journalist” with the ethics of a lawn gnome, what should you do?
I know! Why don’t you spread baseless, malicious rumors that the world leader actually is just one of them gays who has AIDS! Because you know if a 75-year-old man is dropping body weight and having mental problems, it must be AIDS! Certainly couldn’t be anything else — most 75-year-old men are running marathons, except for those damned poofter Palestinians with their low T-cell counts!
Of course, there’s precisely zero evidence for this. (Even if David Frum does trot out a 15-year-old memoir from the ex-head of the Romanian gestapo — because you know Ceaucescu’s right-hand men were all completely trustworthy! Highlights from the top two Amazon reviews: “Pathetically sensationalist and self-serving!” “Ridiculous…this book is utterly unbelievable and unconvincing!”)
The main way Frum can tell Arafat has AIDS? He’s being treated in France. Say no more! Wink wink, nudge nudge!
But the absolute piece de resistance is that, despite there being no evidence whatsoever for his idiotic claims, Frum manages to imply Big Media is purposefully holding this AIDS scoop. Presumably because they’re a bunch of Arafat-suck-up liberals.
Asshole.